


Doctor Goodlove

by Slowprogress



Series: Love is the best medicine [1]
Category: The 100
Genre: Also I'm going to hell for the cheesy title, F/F, I apologize in advance for whatever this turned out to be, I tried to write porn, Turns out I can barely manage soft core
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 16:39:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3576438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slowprogress/pseuds/Slowprogress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke tries to keep it together when her high school crush ends up as her next patient.  Sometimes being a gynecologist is just plain awkward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doctor Goodlove

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what to say, I can only apologize for inflicting this on you poor readers.

This can't be her life right now. It just honest to God _can not_ be her life right now.

This morning when she woke up she was pleasantly surprised by the nice weather and had enough time to take her lab, Dutch, for a quick run in the park. Then the coffee place on the corner gave her a free muffin with her usual order and for most of the morning so far all her appointments had run exactly to schedule. So there was nothing, absolutely nothing, in her day so far that prepared her for this. Lisa had handed her the file with Ms L Thomas neatly printed in the corner and she'd innocently walked into the room with her standard smile in place. Then she'd actually looked up and very nearly burst out in hysterical laughter.

Her next patient was Lexa Thomas. Lexa Thomas, star of every dirty dream Clarke had between the ages of fourteen to seventeen. Lexa Thomas who ran the school newspaper, was the star of the track team and won class president two years in a row. Lexa Thomas who had been smart, quiet, painfully attractive and completely oblivious to young Clarke Griffin's existence as a whole, much less her unrequited crush.

Now here sat Lexa Thomas, beautiful as ever, in nothing but an exam gown and Clarke was supposed to give her her annual check-up. Never in her entire life has she ever hated her choice to become a gynaecologist as much as she does right now, right this second. This really can't be happening to her.

She clears her throat, trying to swallow down her panic, as she steps towards the exam table. She is a professional, she can _do_ this. “Morning, Ms Thomas. Sorry if I've kept you waiting.”

She tries to keep the smile on her face natural, but if the look on Lexa's face is any indication, Clarke may in actual fact be sporting something more suited to The Joker.

Oh, dear God, she can't actually do this.

“You're perfectly on time.” Lexa's words are polite, but her tone is clipped. She doesn't seem very relaxed, not with her obviously clenched jaw and tense shoulders, but Clarke is used to that with her patients. Very few woman come in smiling at the prospect of getting a pap smear test after all.

Clarke drags a deep breath in and tries to keep it together. She is thirty two years old, she hasn't seen this woman in fifteen years and she got over her crush a good fourteen years ago. She does not need to make this worse for her patient, and that is really all that Lexa Thomas is to her, so she drops down onto her stool and flips Lexa's file open.

“I just need to ask you a few questions before we move on to the exam if that's okay with you?” Clarke watches as Lexa nods, her eyes fixed firmly to something behind Clarke's right shoulder.

“Ok, thanks. I see we have your full history here, so that'll save us some time. Any change in your period since your last check-up?” Clarke keeps her eyes down on the file in front of her a little longer than needed, clicking her pen as she tries to get over how surreal this moment is.

She just asked Lexa Thomas about her period. _God_. Her seventeen year old self would have just about died then.

When she does look up, Lexa finally makes eye contact again and Clarke can't help it. She can't help but notice that if Lexa at eighteen had been beautiful, Lexa at thirty three really is just breath taking. She's leaner than she used to be, the bit of softness left over from childhood now completely gone, but her lips are still full and her cheekbones are still killer.

Clarke used to spend hours putting Lexa's face to paper, trying to get every angle just right. Just perfect.

“No, my period is fine.” Lexa purses her lips and Clarke straightens up, tries to focus on doing her job.

“Good, that's good. Are you currently sexually active?” Clarke really, _really_ hates that she has to ask that question, because as absurd as it is she doesn't want to know.

The suppressed seventeen year old still stuck somewhere deep down inside of her is going to die if that answer is yes.

Lexa clears her throat and firmly looks over Clarke's shoulder again. “No, I haven't had...uhm, I haven't in about ten months now.” She doesn't blush, but Clarke can tell she's somewhat embarrassed by her answer. Clarke though? Clarke is very pleased with the answer.

And therein lies the problem.

Clarke is Lexa's doctor. Clarke isn't supposed to care if she's having sex or not, or notice how attractive she still is. This is all very, very wrong.

“Right, ok, I'd still like to draw some blood at the end of the exam and run a full panel. It's just protocol really and we'll email you the results in about a day or two at most. I know you said you aren't currently sexually active, but if that changes in future please feel free to make an appointment and we can talk about your options in regards to birth control.”

Clarke really hates her life right now.

Lexa shifts on the exam table and gives her a tight smile, still looking like she'd rather be swallowing broken glass than be in this room right now. At least they have that in common she guesses. “Thank you, I'll be sure to do that.”

Clarke closes the file, out of standard questions to ask and takes another deep breath. “Well, that takes care of that then. So is there anything else you'd like to discuss? Any questions?” Please God let there be questions...

“No, I'd rather we just get this over with.” This, of course, being the exam.

The exam where Clarke will have to put her hands on Lexa and touch her. Lexa, who Clarke at one stage in her life, has imagined naked. Naked and sweaty and making very pleasing noises.

Clarke may not be in love with Lexa Thomas anymore, because that would be ridiculous at this point, but once upon a time she was and if she's honest with herself she's apparently still physically attracted to her. She is a doctor and she took an oath and this is not right. She _can_ _not_ lay her hands on Lexa's breasts and pretend she's just any other patient. That it's just a standard check-up where her hands are nothing more than medical instruments.

She can't even begin to think about the pelvic exam...

Lexa jumps slightly when Clarke just about rockets off of her stool. “I can't do this. I'm sorry, but I really can't do this.” Clarke is going to get sued. Or something, she doesn't know, but she can't do this exam and stay detached like she ought to.

It would be a violation somehow if she touched Lexa, even if she kept it clinical and by the book. It wouldn't matter that Lexa would never know how inappropriate it is, because _Clarke_ would know. She panics. She never had the guts in high school to approach Lexa, to try to ask her out or even get to know her a bit better, but she has to be brave today. She has to speak up and do the right thing.

“I know you don't remember me, but we went to high school together. I was a year behind you and really in love with you and I know it was a long time ago...” and she really just said that. Out loud, to Lexa, who is naked under that gown and trapped in a room with her. “And oh, dear God, please don't sue me for sexual harassment.”

Clarke actually finds herself lifting her hands up in front of her in the universal sign for I come in peace and just about _dies_. How? How has she ended up saying all of that out loud? How has she managed to forget twelve years worth of training and say that to a patient. She's probably just scared Lexa off gynaecologists for _life_. And regular check-ups are important, dammit!

Clarke is going to lose her license and she'll _deserve_ it.

“Oh, thank _God_.” Lexa actually slumps back against the exam table and Clarke is confused.

“Uhm, what?” She's like, _really_ confused okay?

“I know who you are. I mean I didn't when my PA made this appointment, obviously, but when you walked through the door I just about...” She trails off and smiles at Clarke, a little rueful and a little relieved. “You have no idea how glad I am you actually said something.”

Clarke is less confused now, sure, but about a hundred times more embarrassed. “I am so, so sorry. I had no idea I was so obvious in high school that you actually caught on to my _admiring_. This must have been so uncomfortable for you, I cannot apologise enough.”

Lexa bites her lip, but after a moment she just shakes her head and laughs. “Can I be honest with you, Clarke?”

Clarke tries very hard to ignore the fact that Lexa Thomas, girl of her high school dreams, just said her name for the first time. She is a grown woman who hasn't even thought about Lexa in years before today.

“Of course, please feel free to say anything you feel you need to say.” Clarke still really hopes she doesn't end up sued here after all.

“You weren't obvious in high school. Not at all, if you were then maybe I would have actually had the courage to kiss you back then.” Lexa says it clearly and with a lifted chin, her green eyes fixed steadily on Clarke the whole time, like she's just issued her a challenge. It's more than just a little bit hot.

Clarke needs to sit down.

“Well, that's...” a damn shame, but she doesn't say that out loud. She can't really, because she's distracted by the way Lexa is looking her over, like she's cataloguing every little change from the last fifteen years. It leaves her feeling exposed somehow, naked even.

“It's a mistake I plan to rectify if you don't mind.”

If that means what Clarke thinks it means, she's pretty sure she isn't going to mind. She owes this to her seventeen year old self.

Lexa slips off the exam table and steps closer to her, eyes steady as she reaches a hand forward and cups Clarke's jaw. For all that her words were confident, for all that she's the one initiating this, Clarke can see that Lexa is nervous. Lexa from high school was very reserved. She was confident and well liked, but she kept to herself most of the time. Clarke cannot imagine that Lexa as she stands here today is that much different, so the fact that she's doing this? That she's stepping up into Clarke and leaning forward to kiss her? This is out of character. This is Lexa doing something against her nature, her better judgement, because she _wants_ it so much.

It's sets fire to parts of Clarke she kind of forgot she had.

It's very gentle at first. Just this soft press of lips, but it's sweet and earnest and Clarke feels seventeen again. Remembers nights she lay awake wondering just what this would feel like, wandering how Lexa would fit against her body, how good it would feel to just be able to lay her hands on her.

Things get a little fuzzy then, because Lexa gently brushes her nose against Clarke's and then changes the angle of the kiss and suddenly it's just more. She doesn't care that they don't really know each other, that they're virtually strangers. Something inside of her is telling her _finally_ and she's listening to that part, because it feels true. So she presses closer and suddenly they are kissing with intent.

Lexa is breathless against her mouth, lips an urgent pressure that Clarke feels right down between her thighs. She wants this in a way she hasn't wanted anything in a long time. Lexa is warm beneath her hands and she likes the feel of it, so she presses her fingertips harder into the lean muscle of her back through the thin gown, swallows the small moan the action invokes.

She pushes against Lexa, guides her towards the wall behind her and pins her against it, moans herself when she settles a thigh between her legs and feels the warmth that lays there.

“Is this wise? What we're doing?” Lexa's voice is hot against her cheek, words pushed out between warm presses of her mouth against Clarke's skin.

Clarke doesn't bother answering, because does it matter at this point? They're already doing it, it's past the point where they can just pull away and pretend nothing happened. When Clarke finally slides a hand around and strokes her fingers across nipple and breast, Lexa gives a shaky nod.

“Right, ok then.” It's all the permission Clarke needs.

She doesn't hold back. She slants her mouth against Lexa's and reaches down with her hand, follows the play of tensing muscles in her thigh until she can grip the back of her knee. She lifts it up against her own hip, pulls back a little so that she can look her in the eye, and then she starts to move. She grinds into Lexa with her thigh, watches as the sensation takes a hold of her, as a blush runs up her corded throat. She's so beautiful like this, all tense and searching for her pleasure.

Clarke drops her head down as she works at giving that to Lexa, drops her mouth down onto the skin of her shoulder and sucks at it. Marks the warm flesh with her teeth lightly. Lexa is quiet, they have to be, but Clarke can feel how she strains against that quiet. Feels fingers flex and contract in her hair, against her own breast. Lexa is holding on, clinging to her, desperate. It fuels Clarke on, makes her own breath catch in her throat as she surges up to kiss her again. They don't have the breath left to keep kissing though, so she just turns her face and presses her forehead against Lexa's flushed cheek. Closes her eyes and concentrates on keeping to the rhythm they've set.

Lexa is trembling against her and Clarke knows she can't go on like that much longer. She pulls back and Lexa's eyes startle open, hands instinctively gripping her tighter. Somehow afraid that Clarke would end this, as if she was even capable of ending this.

She presses another kiss to her questioning mouth and drops down to her knees and Lexa understands, bites her lip to keep what little breath she has left inside of her. Clarke dreamed of this sometimes, when she was young and inexperienced and oh so curious, of the moment she would lean forward and taste Lexa. She knows she's good at this now, much better than she would have been at sixteen or seventeen, but somehow it still feels like the first time. She is nervous and excited and she just wants her to feel good, she just desperately wants to give her that.

Lexa must sense something, must see a glimmer of hesitation on her face maybe, because she gives her this soft smile. This soft, small and tremulous smile before she runs a thumb across Clarke's brow, her bottom lip. It's comfort and encouragement all in one and Clarke presses a kiss to her warm palm before leaning forward. Lexa is warm and slick against her mouth, her tongue. They don't have time for what Clarke wants to do, doesn't have time to linger and tease, so she sucks at her gently. Runs her tongue in firm strokes against her, almost smiles when Lexa can't help but keen softly at the feel of it. Like this is almost hurting her, like this is more pleasure than her body can bear.

When she finally slips fingers inside her, Lexa doesn't hold back. She helps Clarke fuck her, guides her with desperate fingers in her hair and more soft, bitten back sounds. It doesn't take very long before she feels the tell tale grip on her fingers and then Lexa's whole body snaps forward as every muscle seems to coils tightly together for a few seconds. She can feel her pulse against her tongue, laps at her sex until Lexa can't stand it any more and gently drops down onto her own knees before Clarke.

“Absolutely worth the wait.” Lexa says this while she laughingly leans into Clarke, nuzzles against her hair and hugs her close.

Clarke hates that she's still fully dressed, that Lexa somehow still has her stupid, thin gown on. She wants to feel her, skin to skin. Wants to physically feel as she finally comes back to herself, as each muscle loses that molten quality that orgasm gives it, and becomes taught with tension and want again.

“Come home with me. Or, God, I don't know, have coffee with me. Just...don't walk away after this.” Clarke doesn't understand this rush of emotion. Yes, fine, this was some of the most intense sex she's had in her life and she's not even the one that had the orgasm, but she shouldn't be this distraught at the thought of the encounter ending.

She's not seventeen any more, not harboring some unrequited love, yet the feeling in her chest is scarily familiar.

“Clarke, look at me.” Lexa's voice is soft, yet commanding. Like when she gave speeches at assembly or during debate when her perpetual calm would drive Clarke's best friend Bellamy up the wall. “I don't do this kind of thing. Not ever. My life is...it's orderly. I work long hours and people depend on me, so there isn't usually much time for anything else, but I'm going to make time for this. I'd like to get to know you, Clarke.”

She pulls back and Clarke feels a little stupid for getting serious like that, for acting like a lovesick teenager, but then Lexa kisses her again. Soft and sincere, a small promise. “We will meet again, Clarke. This is a beginning, not an end.”

Clarke believes her.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this is why I shouldn't attempt to write porn. It's never ends up being porn, just feelings and who wants that, right?


End file.
